Isn’t it weird how stressful it is to put the thoughts that float around our heads every day into words that actually make sense? I’ve never been a huge fan of writing, in fact, I despised it in high school and college, but here I am in my mid-twenties now wishing I would have given it more of a chance. About a month ago I had an idea and wanted to start writing a fantasy novel. My girlfriend and I were talking about Game of Thrones and I jokingly said that once the last season had ended I was going to make a new fantasy world to fill the void. The very next day it was like someone had destroyed the writing dam within my head because out of nowhere the ideas were flooding out of me.
Some background information on myself, I am a twenty-six-year-old Financial Analyst up to my waist in debt from my two degrees and already tired of the nine to five desk life associated with corporate finance. Before my career in Finance, I wanted to pursue sports psychology. I wanted to help athletes get over the mental hurdles that came with those gruesome, side-lining injuries. I wanted to help them get back to being the top-tier performers that they knew they could be. I actually got accepted into a program back in 2015, but it was at a private school I couldn’t afford and I didn’t see the point in taking that debt that was already around my waist and lifting it up over my head. So I moved back home for a few months, discussed my goals with my closest friend, and decided to apply to the accelerated Finance program that he was attempting to get into. Three months later I was on my way back to school and working on my Masters, thinking I had clearly made the right choice for my well-being and my bank account.
That brings us to the current day, with me on my second big boy job and already as tired of it as I was my first. I find myself wondering almost every day if this is truly what the next 45 years of my weekdays will look like. Don’t get me wrong, I’m good at what I do… but after two and a half years I am already one thousand percent over it. I’m ready to move on to the next chapter, no pun intended, of my life. I’m ready to actually pursue my dreams this time and to not settle for what “seems” like the right choice. I want my office somewhere tropical with a Miami Vice (or three) nearby. I don’t want to worry about how late I’ll be stuck at work today or how many times that one coworker will ask for help because he/she is “too busy”. I want to open the floodgates of my brain and write all day every day until my ideas are out there in the world. Kind of ironic how that worked out, my least favorite thing to do in my younger years is what I am now banking (I swear these are unintentional!) on to get me out of this finance rut I am now trapped in.
Now I have this incredible idea for a book but can’t seem to find the time to write outside of work. Don’t tell my boss, but I’ve been doing a bit of writing when he’s out of the office. But how can you blame me, when you get an idea you have to write it down before it disappears forever right? Anyways, I’m tired of not having the time to do what I truly want to do. I know I’m not the most gifted writer (yet), but I do know I’m a quick learner. I also have an incredible work ethic when I find something I am passionate about, and that is the real reason I am writing this. I wanted to dip my toes into blogging and see if I could actually make a living writing every day for the rest of my life. I wanted to know if my ideas and thoughts actually meant something or could even help other people.
So here I am sitting on my girlfriend’s couch with my old crappy MacBook, nearing the end of my first ever blog post and wondering to myself if another soul will ever even read this. And if people do take a liking to it, what then? Do I strictly stick to one topic and become a hyper-niche blogger? Do I write about every single thing that comes to my mind? Do I only put out book related material and ultimately create a world as complex and chaotic as GoT? But honestly, I have no clue where this will go. Maybe in two weeks, I’ll realize I’m actually a horrific writer and go back to despising it all over again lol.
But writing this post has made me realize one thing. No matter how fantastic or bleak my writing future may turn out, I finally took the necessary steps to pursue my dreams. For the first time in my adult life, I think I may have actually found something I could enjoy doing every day until retirement. And that my friends, is what makes me happy.
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